This world has me constantly in awe. // May 20, 2017. 35mm.
Coffee places are an escape, and if you can’t tell, I go a lot. I just find the peace that I need there, the one I long for. I can never get enough of it, since the uncomfortable aspect of this life slips away for just a bit. // June 7, 2017.
I beat myself up over things I can’t control. To a point where I physically and mentally feel unworthy of well, anything. I can be keeping myself busy and it’ll all still be there, in the back of my mind, taunting me. It could be that I made a bad pass, didn’t sell enough, or even other peoples issues. There are many times where I’ve given up on myself, only to be picked up by the people closest to me.
I often look at pictures to feel better. Days where my mind decided to take a break from itself, to let me have peace. It feels weird and unnatural, but I know those days can happen. Those days where I can feel happiness, can happen. And I wait patiently for those days to come again.
I carried a love for you
which i believed was eternal.
I never wanted it to fade away,
as i would never think of that kind of day.
I respected you,
call it unhealthy if you please.
I put you above everyone,
to the point i would choose you
over the people who loved me more than you ever would.
Your nature was visible to everyone but me,
as i was blinded by time.
All the experiences we had shared
had vouched for you,
and i wish i had ignored them
and saw you for who you really were.
Someone who was using me
to feel better about them-self.