I’m genuinely unhappy in life, but I don’t make it obvious. There is a pit deep within me that makes it so. Every morning I wake up and dread it entirely, I lie there longer than I should and wonder why I have to wake up another day. I’ve been feeling like this for as long as I can remember, even way back when I was a child. It hurts. I wonder why it hurts to live sometimes, even when nothing is wrong, and there’s reason to be happy. It’s still there, haunting me. I wonder why God gave me this test in life. Maybe I’ll be happy one day, or maybe this life wasn’t made for me to be happy. I just know I have to get through it in one peace. Writing is my escape, even if it’s for a mere minute. I’m grateful I get to share my words everyday.
For those who struggle with mental illnesses or suicidal thoughts, please know that you’re not alone. We’ll get through this, one day at a time. // April 14, 2017. On the road to better things.