What The Eyes See

I’ve heard that the eyes are the windows to the soul. I’ve heard that a lot actually. Whatever you see goes straight to how we are. Right to our inner core, and that has an ability to change us. And some things might be a good change, and some bad. It’s a process. Personally for me, I’ve mostly seen bad. If views could kill, i wouldn’t be here right now. I mean, I’m grateful for the life i have. I’m grateful for every morning, every night, and every time i escape something unhurt. But I’m not grateful for the bad things in life. The tough times, yea, i am grateful for because they make me stronger, but not the bad times. They have a totally scarring effect on a persons being. Even heartbreak has a nice spot on the soul. I’ve seen yelling, fighting, screaming, separation, and sadly, even abuse. And these weren’t stories i heard from third parties, these were up and close, and very personal. It leaves a mark on a person where it just can’t be undone. Where every fight you heard resonates through your body and every bruise is left on the people around that helplessly watched. It goes right to the inner most part of the being and scars terribly.  I wish i didn’t get to see what i lived with or even grew with. I wore a dismal mask in front of others and hoped no one would see the marks left by my own thoughts. Sure, i am the man because of the terrible actions of others, but am i the right man? The quirks of the past plague me and i just have to sit and wonder why God made me the messy piece that i am today.

Yea, a messy piece. But were all works in progress, right? Im 20 years old, a junior in college. People have told me that I’ve gone through more issues than most 20 year olds have. Its hard, but still, we’re all works in progress. The scars will remain on my soul till the day i die, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be damaged forever. Artists paint with mistakes, over, and through, and still make something beautiful. I hope that one day my wounds can be a part of a huge canvas of improvements and tranquility, because after all, we are all just trying.

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