Repeated Loops

My eyes lay wide open
Sleep isn’t coming
My head rests on a hard pillow
And my body aches and itches
Memories implanted in me
Thinking of the things I have done
What I said to that beautiful soul
How much I must have hurt her in the time span
How much time we both wasted on each other
Urges fill me to contact her
Just one more time
One last time
One more “I’m sorry…”
Using the comforting ideas of us being fine for a couple more days
And being at ease
Getting ahead of myself again and again
Every night
How I could imagine starting a life with her
Being the man she craved
But we always went back to our lousy outbursts and pointing out problems
We were mad lovers
Stuck in a constant loop

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